


For the Warmth of the Soul

by anamatics



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Light Dom/sub, Power Dynamics, Sin Sin get in the Bin, also featuring: Prepping your Space for a Scene, which you have to when your space is an Air B&B
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-04 20:46:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18820411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anamatics/pseuds/anamatics
Summary: Lena pulls Kara’s glasses from her face and sets them on a low table in the entry way.  “Do you want to explore a bit?” She presses her lips to Kara’s neck. “Or just find the closest available surface?”





	For the Warmth of the Soul

**Author's Note:**

> "We no longer build fireplaces for physical warmth -- we build them for the warmth of the warmth of the soul; we build them to dream by, to hope by, to home by." -- Edna Ferber

Lena doesn’t often indulge her wealth. Her taste runs expensive, designer and luxury, yes, but indulgences are different than that. They come with the guilt of not being born into the money and company which now grant her that privilege, and Lena hates that guilt more than anything else.  She avoids instances when it comes up because they inevitably serve as reminders of her cold mother and her colder childhood – austere homes and boarding school as soon as they trusted her not to ruin the family name if she spent time away.  She was a trophy, a gesture of goodwill to the meek masses of the world to remind them that yes, the Luthors were good people, never mind what the press says.

This isn’t about avoiding that guilt, not today. This is an indulgence she doesn’t need, but rather wants. This is about seeing snow, about breathing in air not choked with smog. She’s two weeks into December and the temperature in National City hasn’t dipped much below sixty degrees. Lena’s used to _weather_. National City, evidently, is not.

“Jess,” she calls.  Jess appears a few second later, looking harassed in the way only an admin can. Lena tries to smile encouragingly at her, but it doesn’t quite work. It never does with Lena. “Can you do me a favor and clear the afternoon and move that strategy call Saturday afternoon to Monday night?” She exhales, contemplates her schedule. Nothing else can be moved. She hopes there’s a landline. A thought strikes her – a way to truly make this extravagance an indulgence. “And get Kara Danvers on the phone.”

“Ms. Danvers?” Jess asks.

“Did I stutter?”

Jess retreats, skittering away as if surprised Lena’s snapped at her. Lena turns to stare out the window. Maybe she needs this more than she thinks. This time of year is never ending stress, and Lena hasn’t had … release in some time.

 

The conversation starts apropos of nothing: “Come away with me, for the weekend.” Lena says when Kara picks up.  She goes on to tell Kara of the place she’s booked, how alone it feels, how breathless it makes her just thinking about having Kara there – alone – without anywhere to run or any masks to throw on. Her pitch is just that: the implication of something more, a deeper desire that is best left to innuendo and not the company line.  

“Lena!” Kara laughs. “I can’t just up and leave.”

“Please, I insist. I know its winter somewhere in this infernal state.”

“Why not just fly to Aspen or something? A cabin in the woods is so… isolated.” Lonely, she doesn’t say, but Lena hears it anyway. She doesn’t like the implication in what Kara’s implying – that she’ll retreat up a mountainside to brood and sip fine whisky – but it’s easy enough to defect.

“And be surrounded by Kardashians and _that_ ilk? No thank you, Kara.” Kara laughs again, but the implication lies heavy. “I’d much rather simple company, a good book, and a chance to quiet my mind.”

“You’re going to work through Christmas aren’t you?”

Lena bites her lip. “I… may have not intended to take any time off.”

“Lena! You have to take time off – Christmas is for fam… _Oh_.” Kara falters. Lena’s eyes flutter shut. She always does so well, until the moment she forgets and slips up. Lena likes how Kara isn’t perfect, how sometimes darkness creeps into her countenance and speech; how easily she’ll say the wrong thing seemly on purpose and then quickly stumble her way through an apology. Like she’s about to start doing now. “Lena, I—I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Christmas in my family has always been a trying time. The work makes it easy to forget.”

“Then this trip is?”

“An indulgence.”

“You want to spend the time you do take with me?”

“Is that so hard to imagine? I find you…” Overwhelming. Soothing. All-consuming. _Perfect._ “Well, your company is far better than any else I could possibly keep. Would you indulge me?”

“I would love to… Just let me check with Alex, make sure she’s okay with me going away. You know what she’s been going through recently. It hasn’t been easy.”

“Alright.”

“Um… Lena… what about the other thing – ” The other thing that they’re clearly going to do all weekend but that Kara’s too coy or too shy to say out loud.  She certainly knows exactly what she wants out of Lena and what Lena wants out of her, but to speak of it… that’s daring, not like Kara. That implies that Kara wants something specific… Lena presses her hand to the cool glass of her window.  It fogs with her body heat.  _Interesting._ Lena bides her time, waits for Kara to spit it out, because asking… that’s interesting. Kara doesn’t ask. She manipulates and implies, but outright asking? Never. So what she’s going to ask _for_ is intriguing. “Do you need to tell me anything - about what should I bring? Or be ready for?”

“What did you have in mind?”

Kara draws a shuddering breath. Lena closes her eyes, pictures Kara’s face, the color of her cheeks, the way she’d avoid eye contact, fidget with her glasses and pretend that she couldn’t ask Lena for anything she wanted and get it three times over. “I think it—I—can we try—”

“Mmmm?”

They’re just breathing on the phone, almost in sequence. Lena slows, matches Kara’s breaths one for one. Kara’s hesitation is palpable. “I saw it – last time – in your bedroom – with your things.”

“Be more specific, Kara. I have many _things_.”

“The… they’re in the bag, the velvet bag.”

“Oh Kara…” It isn’t a yes. Or even a promise. It’s a hanging question that Lena won’t answer because to answer would ruin her surprise, her plan. A plan starts to form, crystalizing in Lena’s mind. There are modifications she’ll have to make, naturally, for the elephant in the room – the true reason Kara needs to ask her sister’s blessing to go away for a weekend. They will be quick, and they’ll up the ante, up the game, make what’s about to happen all the more _fun._ “Bring nothing but yourself, Kara. I’ll take care of everything else.”

“Nothing?” The implication fills Lena’s belly with an intense swirl of desire. Kara says these things, probes so innocently and yet so full of the heavy implication of what they do together, as though she’s completely unaware of their effect on Lena. It’s entirely by design, this give and take. “Gosh, Lena, that sounds like it could be cold.”

“Well,” Lena hums thoughtfully, “just a weekend bag. Warm clothes – that is if you think you’ll be cold.” Kara runs hot, like a furnace. It’s because of what she is, but Lena doesn’t know that and certainly would never use such a detail to her advantage in the game they played. “You’ve always seems rather warm to me. Do you get cold easily?”

“I do.”

“That’s good to know, Kara.” She wants to say something more, but ends the call instead. Theirs is a dance after all, and Lena is loath to show her cards too early.

 

The drive is mostly quiet. Lena admits to being a bit smug about her car, with its practical four wheel drive, being as nice as it is. Kara’d been impressed, to say the least, throwing her gear into the back seat and touching the paneling when she settles in beside Lena. It’s nice, watching Kara coo a bit over something as innocuous as a car. She doesn’t drive as much here as she did in Metropolis and it feels good to be behind the wheel, to gun an engine and let her fingers wander over Kara Danvers’s thigh while her eyes never leave the unending highway.

They drive up the California coast.  Kara mentions that she’s from near here, a small surfer town with more green than Lena accustomed to seeing in this state that masquerades as a desert. She forgets, sometimes, that there are mountains, and _green_ and snow. Kara stares out the window, almost longingly, as they approach. Lena offers to pull off at the exit she indicates, see her mother, but Kara shakes her head.  “I don’t think she’d understand.”

“Understand what?”

Kara is quiet for a moment, her eyes on the exit as it wizzes past. “You and I. What we do.”

A smile tugs at the corner of Lena’s mouth. “We’re friends, Kara. What we do alone together isn’t anyone’s business but ours.” Kara has no reason to feel embarrassed, and she knows that. Lena wonders if the implication of bringing a girl home is what gives Kara pause – because they _aren’t_ dating, or at least, they’ve never said so much in words. “Are you not out to her?”

“No, she’s always known about me. Alex took her by surprise, though; in retrospect it was pretty obvious.” Kara gives a half-hearted little giggle. “She’s just perceptive, Lena. She picks up on things like you wouldn’t believe.  One word out of place, one slip of your hand, and then I’ll get a lecture about power dynamics in relationships and equity and I’m just… I don’t want her to know what makes me tick like that.”

Lena hums. “Fair enough. I’d love to see your hometown someday though.”

Maybe it’s just a step toward _relationship_ Kara’s not willing to take just yet.

Kara nods, turning to regard Lena with those solemn, loving eyes that make Lena want to pull off and have her in the backseat. “Only if you take me to Metropolis.”

“I’d rather take you to where I went school… Metropolis never felt much like home for me.” Lena’s fingers twitch on the steering wheel. She doesn’t like going back there, not even for work. Lex’s legacy is everywhere and that old empty house in Connecticut is just… not worth going back to. Not after her father died.

“So… some tiny village in the middle of nowhere, Ireland? That’s a bit of a hike, for a visit. At least I’m a local.”

Grinning, Lena ducks her head, sucks her lower lip into her mouth. “It’s beautiful there. _You’d_ be beautiful there – all that green.”

“I’m not fly—” Kara falters, and then smiles wanly at Lena. There is much they do not speak of between them, despite the implicit understanding of the reality of the situation. Kara, Lena is almost certain, is entirely aware of Lena’s knowledge of who she really is. She slips things into conversation sometimes, just little things, that are entirely too calculated to not be the tentative probe of one who is looking for, or perhaps trying, to find an excuse to run away. Being outed as the girl who’s saved the city (not to mention Lena’s life) more times than either of them care to count, is not something Kara evidently wants at present. And Lena, who indulges in Kara because she is so plaint, so warm, and so very, very good at the game they play together, is content to leave things at innuendo. 

Kara sighs, and trails her fingertips along Lena’s hand, where it’s now resting, hot and heavy, near the apex of Kara’s thigh. “What I mean is, it seems awfully long way to fly, just to be seen amongst so much green.”

 “L-Corp has a jet. Well, technically it’s the family jet, but as… well, it’s my jet.” Lena supplies, steadfastly ignoring how Kara’s fingertips feel against her own. She will pull over in a rest area and she will fuck Kara in the back seat if she doesn’t keep herself in check. And Kara, judging by the sly look in her eyes, seems to know this as well. “It’s quite comfortable.”

It is the game they play.

“I’m sure it is.” Kara agrees. She hums pensively, her fingers settling over Lena’s. Lena turns her hand over. Their fingers lace together. “All those long hours in cramped quarters.”

“Hours, huh?” Lena glances over at Kara, and Kara’s cheeks are a little red and Lena’s smirking. “Whatever could we do with all that time?”

 

The cabin Lena rented is tucked away up a mile long dirt road winding though snow covered aspens, their boughs so heavy with snow they droop low to the ground.  Kara’s fascinated, her hands and nose pressed to the window, fogging the window with her breath.  Lena’s concentrating on trying to get up the hill without skidding out into the gully on either side of the narrow road. She’s not worried that they can’t get out of a ditch, Kara’s with her, after all, but there’s a matter of pride that comes with navigating this road. She can’t mess it up, it has to be perfect.

So she exhales, concentrates, downshifts until the slide she feels abates. They creep forward once more.

They make it up the hill and Lena checks her email for the Air B&B directions to where the key is and Kara gets their things. Her hoodie is unzipped, but she doesn’t seem bothered by the cold. She’s standing in snow up to her shins, snow packing into her jeans and sticking to her hair where it falls gently from the sky overhead. They’re stray flakes, the kind that remind her of beauty and the grace of life, clinging to a ray of alien sunshine.

“The key’s behind a brick, third from the bottom on the second step, on the right side,” Lena reads off her phone.  She shivers. “It’s a damn scavenger hunt.”

Kara slings Lena’s overnight bag and laptop case over her shoulder. “You picked the place.”

“Yeah, sure, blame me.” Lena counts the bricks and wiggles the one that hides the key.  It falls away and there’s a key on a bottle opener keychain inside.  Lena collects it, stomps snow from her leggings and boots and unlocks the door. Kara’s half a step behind her, letting out a surprised sound.

“It’s so charming, Lena. How did you find it?”

“I was on a call where the R&D and accounting were arguing about the cost benefit analysis of cutting our alien detection program and I didn’t want to fire three members of my leadership team, so I found something to occupy my mind.”

“What were you thinking about, exactly?” Ever the journalist, Kara presses on.

Lena stares at Kara, her lips twisting into something that could be mysterious, if Kara buys it. She bites at her lip and Kara just shakes her head.  It’s pretty obvious, she thinks, what she was thinking about.

“You know, Cat just fired people when they disagreed with her.”

“I’m nicer than Cat Grant.” Lena shrugs. “Also, well, I don’t have the clout to do as she does.”

Kara smiles that small, private smile she sometimes does when she knows Lena’s not quite being honest. “You have plenty of clout.” She lets the bags fall from her shoulders and steps into Lena’s arms, sliding her fingers over Lena’s parka and unzipping it.  Her hands; warm and dutiful, slide inside the jacket, and skate under Lena’s shirt. Kara dips her head, pressing a kiss to Lena’s parted lips. Her fingers are warm on Lena’s hips, tracing small circles. She pulls away. “There’s a reason I picked you for this game.”

Wrapping her arms around Kara’s shoulder, Lena kisses Kara again, this time easy, a slide of tongues and her hands in Kara’s hair.  Slow, careful, deliberate. That’s what Lena likes when they’re in no rush. “And here I thought you liked me.”

“Mmm, I do.” Kara replies. 

Lena pulls Kara’s glasses from her face and sets them on a low table in the entry way.  “Do you want to explore a bit?” She presses her lips to Kara’s neck. “Or just find the closest available surface?” They’ve got all weekend, but Lena has calls to do all morning tomorrow and she doesn’t want to waste time.  She isn’t sure Kara wants to either, because moments like this when there will be _no_ interruptions (carefully negotiated with the sister, without actually saying why, and my, doesn’t Lena wish she’d been a fly on the wall for _that_ conversation) are fleeting. The idea is to tire Kara out so she sleeps all morning, and then do it again all afternoon. But it’s the idea, the finding the moment when it will be planned and when it will be spontaneous, that’s what Lena’s really interested in. This, with her hands in the back pockets of Kara’s jeans and her lips sucking on where Kara’s pulse point would be, had she been human, has all the trappings of spontaneity.

Kara’s fingers move from Lena’s hips to her breasts with the gentle touch that Lena’s still growing accustomed to. She wants the power behind Kara, the force of her in their coupling, not this gentle, tentative bullshit that they both know is a lie. It’s only when Kara’s caught her nipples through three layers of fabric that Lena feels it, that power. She gasps into that touch, that biting moment of pain that is soothed when Kara’s chin succeeds in nudging Lena’s jacket away from her neck and kissing her just where Lena likes it, just below her ear. 

“Can I leave marks?” Kara’s fingers tense, and then relax, before tensing again, never quite pinching, never quite giving Lena what she wants. Her eyelashes tickle Lena’s neck.

Lena tangles her fingers in Kara’s hair and pulls her head away roughly. Her lips are kiss-swollen and there’s this glint in her eyes that Lena likes, one part mischievous one part compliant – the perfect heady combination to get Lena into the right mood for this. Kara’s fingers tighten, through the fabric of Lena’s sweater, shirt and bra. Lena’s breath comes in a slow, shallow gasp, but she remains firm, ignoring how turned on this is making her. She tugs harder, wanting Kara to focus. “Not right now.”

The hallway opens into a living room, a plush rug in front of a grey stone fire place and a couch that bears indents of age and use.  Lena’s charmed, this is someone’s home, and she’s going to fuck Supergirl in it and they’ll never be any the wiser.

They go to the couch.  Lena decides she wants a fire when they do what she’s planned later. She’s more ready than she’s been in a long time for this.  She settles back on the couch and pulls Kara into her lap.  Her jacket slides from her shoulders, Kara’s fingers are deft, gathering her shirt and pulling it and her sweater over Lena’s head in one easy motion.  The air is cold, the heat’s off. Gooseflesh covers Lena’s body, and she pulls Kara, ever-warm Kara, closer.

Kara’s mouth descends. She presses open mouthed kisses on Lena’s neck, her teeth scraping at the skin there without ever biting hard enough to leave a mark or do another other than to draw a hiss of approval from Lena. She likes Kara liked this, when she’s trying so hard to not go beyond what is asked of her, when she’s being so very good. When there isn’t the usual lingering question of who holds more power in their relationship. Kara gives it to Lena, and Lena? Well, Lena takes very good care of the gifts she’s given.

Lena hums contentedly and runs her hands along Kara’s back, her fingers tracing along the muscles there, pulling Kara closer to her. Kara doesn’t let herself move closer, doesn’t give an inch, sliding her palms down Lena’s chest and back up again to rest, tentatively, gently, on Lena’s breasts. There’s a glint of something in her eyes, something like surrender. As though Lena could push her down between her legs and have her mouth and Kara would be overjoyed to be of service in such a way.

The thing is: Lena likes the physicality of Kara, likes how she occupies a space, and likes how she touches. There is power behind each touch, each easy sensation of her hands on Lena’s body. It’s a heady, intoxicating feeling for Lena, knowing she’s at the mercy of this power, but wanting nothing more than to possess it for herself. That, too, is part of the game for them. Kara gives her power away, Lena hordes it like a dragon protecting her gold.

Kara is gold – the sun made human and come to earth to kiss Lena and to pull at her nipples so gently before scooting back on the couch and replacing her fingers with her lips and teeth. She is what Lena needs in these moments when her life feels as though it’s spiraling out of control, when the house of cards that is her respectability threatens to crash down at a moment’s notice. Kara gives Lena her control _back_ , without ever asking for anything in return. Today is, ostensibly, not about Lena, though she wants Kara’s mouth more than anything right now. This whole trip is a reward for Kara, a reward in that Kara is the only person on earth Lena wants to spend time with. The reward is this time, this time together, in this old house, with nothing but Lena’s sinful intent and Kara’s interest in some of her more interesting possessions.

Rising to kiss her, Kara’s tongue is in her mouth, her teeth are pulling at Lena’s bottom lip and Lena is whimpering with the want of it all. “Want you,” Kara mutters. “Want to …” Her hand drips from Lena’s breast to press urgently at the waistband of Lena’s jeans.

The hiss of approval which escapes Lena’s lips is decadent. Yes, she will indulge herself in Kara. She pushes Kara’s hand down past her waistband. “Please,” she says. She knows she cannot do this without words. She has to say it otherwise Kara will stop. She’s dedicated that way, adamant about consent. Lena thinks she fucking perfect.

Lena’s jeans are quickly shoved down her thighs and onto the floor. She kicks them off and gasps when Kara pulls her hips forward and presses her open mouth the spot where Lena’s thigh meets her hip and slides down to taste Lena. Her tongue is strong and Kara never tires. Lena grips her hair and hangs on as she feels the pressure building within her with each lap of Kara’s tongue against her clit.

God above, she loves this girl.

 

After, when Lena’s fingers are loosening their grip on Kara’s hair and Lena’s heart doesn’t feel as though it’s racing out of her chest, they stare at each other.  Kara looking up at her through half-lidded eyes is beautiful, Kara with her lips shining with something other than lip gloss even more so. Lena watches Kara’s tongue trace along her upper lip, cleaning herself up before she gets to her feet and settles herself on the couch beside Lena.

“This is weird, doing this in someone else’s house.”

Lena runs her fingers though the snarl she’s made in Kara’s hair. “Is it though?” A small part of Lena, the mischievous, devious part that Kara brings to the forefront, is privately delighted in what they’re doing. “I think it’s kind of hot.”

“You would.” Kara mumbles, her cheeks are scarlet, right up to her ears. Lena’s pretty sure Kara’s still pretty worked up, where she’ll stay for the time being. That’s part of this too, the wait, the anticipation. But it’s also the moments like this, when Lena’s scratching at Kara’s scalp with the tenderness that their coupling, so often interrupted, lacks, that have come to mean so much to Lena. Kara pressed, boneless against Lena’s side, her fingers tracing gooseflesh along Lena’s exposed thigh. “I want to build a fire.”

“Then do it.”

“You’re warm,” Kara answers, burrowing closer. “Don’t wanna move.”

“It’d be warmer in here if there was a fire.”

“I hate you and your logic.”

Lena laughs. “I don’t think that’s true at all.”

Kara gets to her feet, allowing Lena to find her leggings and pull them back on.  She moves around the room at normal speed, each step deliberate, touching items, rearranging them, opening door to a room beyond and stepping through, returning with an armful of wood and a handful of newspaper. 

“Were you a girl scout?” Lena asks.

“Nah,” Kara answers. “Alex and I went camping a lot when I firs—when we were in middle school. She got cold really easily. I wanted to look at the stars. She went to girl scout camp though, taught me how to do this without making stuff explode.” She still slips up. Lena doesn’t quite have it in her to say anything. Kara doesn’t need to pretend around her, but they don’t really talk about _why_ she’s pretending in the first place.  Maybe it’s hard for Kara, maybe it’s just not something they can ever talk about.  Maybe it needs to stop because Lena is sick of lying about it all the time and pretending like there isn’t an elephant in the room every time they’re together and there’s a need for Supergirl to be there as well. They don’t need to pretend – not around each other.

“I never did any of that,” Lena says. “My father was always too busy working, or hiding out in Kansas with Lex at that plant they started together, I was the afterthought child.”

Kara’s expression softens. She reaches up into the chimney and there’s this metallic scrape of iron against stone. The flue opening. The sucking sensation of air isn’t lost on Lena, naked and with a blanket draped over her from the back of the couch. Kara strikes a match and places it to the newspapers, watching as the fire blazes to life and sitting back on her heels, staring intently. “I wouldn’t mind if this were real camping,” she said at last. “You and me, under the stars.”

“It’s snowing outside.” Lena says dryly.  There’s a weight against her leg, from the pocket of her jacket. What Kara had so nicely asked for back when they’d first discussed what they might get up to on this adventure. Lena’d made sure it would be close by before they left, knowing full well what she’d want from Kara once she had Kara in the glow of the firelight. “I hardly think it’d be appropriate to ask you to take off your clothes when it’s snowing.”

“Are you asking now?” Kara counters with a twitch of her eyebrow. “Because it isn’t snowing in here.”

The fire, as if to drive the point home, cracks and pops. Kara turns her attention toward it and brushes a coal away from the fire before reaching up to close the little iron curtain which would protect them from errant sparks.

“Don’t.” Lena says sharply.

“The wood is too dry, Lena, it’s going to do that unless –”

The words then get stuck in Lena’s throat and it takes a long moment of their eyes meeting before Lena can finally work her brain beyond her want for Kara to lie on this nice ornate rug the Air B&B owner probably found at an antique shop and had specifically shipped in. Lena knows enough about antiquities due to her family’s propensity for ah—acquiring them to be able to identify a well-made piece when she sees one. Lena pushes the thoughts down and swallows hard.  “I want to see you in the firelight…” she says. She reaches for the solid weight against her leg, untangling her shirt from her jacket and offering the velvet bag to Kara.

Inside is a dildo made out of glass Lena bought at a sex shop in SoHo on a whim nearly two years ago. She’d used it on a girl she’d picked up at a club that night, made the girl come three times on just the unrelenting weight of the dildo alone before Lena had bent her lips to taste the girl for the first time. That was what she wanted now. She wanted to see Kara – who knew all about this toy having taken it form its bag while exploring Lena’s _collection_ and brandished it almost like a sword while giggling at Lena the whole time.

“What’s so different about a glass one?” Kara had asked. “I’ve used other ones before… but never glass.”

Lena took the dildo from her hand and twisted her wrist so the dildo’s weight rested on Kara’s forearm. “They’re not like anything else,” she admitted truthfully. “The few times I’ve experienced it –” because Lena _had_ experienced it, and had come so hard she forgot herself for nearly an hour afterward, “—it was far more intense anything else.” She leaned in, her lips against Kara’s ear. “There’s something about glass, you see – it doesn’t give. It’s just hard – and it can be hot,” She licked Kara’s earlobe. “Or cold.”

Kara shuddered. “Is it just for … the sensation?” Her tone was mind, but her eyes never left the dildo pressing into her forearm. “Or …”

Lena’s hand slid down Kara’s back to curl around her ass. She jerked Kara’s legs apart and let her fingers dip lower still pulling at Kara’s underwear under her skirt, touching wet heat and knowing she was right about Kara’s desires before she even asked. “Would you like to find out, Kara?”

The way Kara inhaled and dropped her hips to Lena’s fingers was answer enough. But Lena’s phone had gone off and ruined the moment not two seconds later. A work call, they’d had to part. Lena regretted not getting a chance to show Kara what the dildo could do then, but the seed had been planted. Now, with her hand held out to Kara, it is going to _grow._

“You brought it,” Kara breathes, taking the bag from Lena and staring down at it. “I – Lena –”

“Take off your clothes, Kara.” Lena leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. The couch was close enough to the fireplace that there was space to move around in on the rugs surface, but not enough. Kara got to her feet and bent to drag away the coffee table.  Lena rose to help her and together they set it gently aside from their play area.

“Did you want to move the couch closer?” Kara asked, tugging her short off over her head.

Lena glanced back at the couch and the space made available with the coffee table gone. “We probably should. I want to see this.”

They move the couch forward a bit and Kara catches Lena around the waist and pulls her close, kissing her with an intensity Lena wasn’t expecting. She’s warm and her shirt is soft and she’s holding Lena so closely that it is all Lena can do to push her away and step back. “Off.” She says, fingering Kara’s shirt. “Lie down when it’s gone. I want you to touch yourself.”

Kara’s throat bobs but she moves quickly to comply. Lena sits back down on the couch, now closer to the fire. Kara’s skin is bathed in the golden light and she turns to meet Lena’s gaze. “How?” she asks. Her fingers rest across her stomach and Lena’s breath catches. She’s gorgeous in this light, like some of Lena’s more vaudeville inspired fantasies, the dame on the bearskin rug beautiful and wanting. (She’s _got_ to stop watching old movies.)

“Just – caress – don’t touch your breasts, not yet. I want you to wait until you cannot stand it.” Lena’s eyes dip down and she wants to be closer to Kara. She moves, settling on the floor next to Kara, her fingers joining Kara’s in a gentle caress as she leans over to kiss Kara gently on the cheek. “You’re so good at doing this – so good.” Her lips, barely moving as she whispers the words, slide to kiss Kara properly, her body rolling over Kara’s and stilling her hands. Their lips press together and then Lena pulls away, sits up properly, her gaze hard. “I didn’t say stop.”

“You were on top of me,” Kara points out.

Lena reaches forward, her fingers twining into Kara’s hair. She pulls, just hard enough to focus, never hard enough to truly hurt. “Don’t,” she says, her voice a low threat. “Don’t sass, Kara. Not now.” There’s nothing else to say. Kara knows there will be consequences if she does not comply.

(What goes unspoken is their mutual love of the punishment games. Kara loves a paddle on her ass and Lena, well, Lena loves the challenge of bringing that rosy tinge to Kara’s skin. It’s an exchange that works well for both of them. And it’s a giving of trust from Kara that Lena rather finds herself reveling in, as they spend more time in their games. She isn’t worthy of Kara’s trust sometimes, she feels, but she takes what is offered freely, lovingly, knowing full well she must be better to deserve this gift.)

The dance moves on. Kara’s fingers trace the undersides of her breasts, fanning out, nails scraping down hard enough to leave little red lines in the skin there which pink and then vanish into nothing in time. Lena likes the marks, likes how they look like lace patterned into Kara’s skin, likes how they remind her of how stunning Kara is. In this moment she is most beautiful, Lena decides, when her hips are canting upward and her head is thrown back in supplication, taking in the sensation of her own touch and Lena’s intense gaze.

If Lena were crueler, she’d want to maintain eye contact. It would force Kara’s concentration away from the touch though, away from where Lena wants her mind to be. She should be wholly taken by the moment. Everything else should fall away to bliss.

Once, when Lena was younger and just experimenting with her predilection toward this game, she’d had an encounter which had gone sideways because of poor communication and Lena’s inability to properly care for the girl who played submissive. She’d lost all confidence then, after the girl had crumpled into tears before her and Lena hadn’t know what to say or do. She’d frozen, terrified of how it seemed – how it would _look_ if it ever got around that she was irresponsible with her playthings.

A friend had told her that the best way to know how to handle such situations is to experience them herself. Everyone is different, yes, but there are common threads. Lena had learned what it felt like for her soon after, had spent nearly two years ensuring she knew everything about that feeling, before she dared try again.

Lena learned Kara’s ticks early, and now bends over Kara’s flushed chest to place gentle kisses on the curve of her breast. “You’re doing amazing, Kara,” she whispers. Kara needs reassurance and praise to keep her grounded. Lena’s never found cause to deny her such pleasure. She’d be callous if she did.

Closing her hand hard on Kara’s breast, the sensation cutting against the gentle touches which has Kara in a soft place, Lena smiles almost wickedly. Kara’s eyes fly open at the touch and a low groan escapes her lips. “Take it out,” Lena say, moving to palm Kara’s other breast. “I want you to hold it for a moment before we go further.”

Kara’s eyes narrow and her hand skitters out across the carpet to the velvet bag and jerks the dildo from its confines. It looks heavy in Kara’s fingers, its smooth surface clear with a swirl of blue inside. Part of why Lena had liked it so much was the beauty of it – Lena likes beautiful things. The blue is striking in the firelight, staining almost purple as Kara pulls it forward and Lena sits up again, her fingers rolling around Kara’s pert nipple.

“It’s beautiful,” Kara breaths. “Like really beautiful – I saw it back at your place of course but not – not in this light.”

Lena bends and kisses her cheek. She slides her lips to Kara’s ear and pinches Kara’s nipple, drawing a gasp from Kara. “You think it’s beautiful because you’re going to fuck yourself with it.” Her tongue snakes out, sucking in Kara’s earlobe and biting gently. “Are you wet?”

“I—”

She knows her smile is smug and satisfied as she relinquishes Kara’s breast and slides her hand down Kara’s stomach – marveling as it draws in heaving breaths. Her fingers trail through the tangle of hair and into the slick warmth of Kara’s desire. “Oh Kara,” she exhales slowly, happily. Lena is more at ease in this moment than she was in the board room. Lena dips her head to take her fingers in her mouth, looking up at Kara, propped up on her elbows, the toy still in one hand, watching her with eyes wide with wonder.

“God Lena,” Kara gasps.

“Give it to me.” Lena holds out her hand and Kara practically shoves the dildo into her hands. The idea, swimming in Lena’s head since this whole idea had first struck her, is coming to life and Lena cannot wait. “Here’s what we’re going to do,” she says, nudging Kara’s legs apart with a gentle tap of the dildo on her knee. “You’re going to fuck yourself with this, is that okay?”

“More than okay,” Kara answers. Her smile in the firelight, Lena decides, was the most beautiful thing Lena’s ever seen.

“Though,” Lena trails the dildo down Kara’s thigh. “I want to first.”

“Still okay.” Kara lets herself fall back onto the rug and Lena feels the thrill come over her once more. She pushes the dildo forward, watching how each press of the heaviness of it elicits little groans and shifts in Kara.

“Good,” Lena says. “Good.” She slides her fingers, pushing Kara open and settling the dildo at her entrance. “The thing with glass,” she continues, her tone kept perfectly neutral and conversational, as though she isn’t soaking wet and desperate to be touched herself. “Is that it is unrelenting.” She pushes the dildo inside Kara slowly, inch by inch, watching as her legs fall open and her head tilts back. Taking in the sensation and groaning at the release of the pressure – the need to be filled which comes from these games.

“What –mmm – do you mean?”

Lena pulls the dildo back and pushes it in once, twice, three times before Kara groans out loud. “Well, darling,” she says quietly. “You wanted to see what it felt like, didn’t you?” She reaches forward and takes Kara’s hand, putting it on the thick base of the toy. “Why don’t you find out?”

The sound which escapes Kara’s lips then nearly sends Lena over the edge. She’s content to watch as Kara grinds her clit against her palm and fucks herself with this glass toy Lena’d bought on a whim years ago like it’s the greatest thing they’ve ever tried together. Her hand trails down to touch herself as Kara’s thighs start to quake and her orgasm surges through her in a raw moan that has her whole body tense and Lena’s want flooding over her palm.

 

Later, when they’re flat on their backs, Lena wrapped protectively around Kara as she comes down, trembling, from the force of it all. They stay like that for a long time, Lena kissing her and stroking her hair. Kara mumbling into the crook of Lena’s neck words she cannot understand. Lena doesn’t ask about them, doesn’t want to know.

Except she does. Doubt is a powerful monster in her chest as she wraps her arms around Kara and holds her as tightly as she can. This girl, this beautiful, darling, charming girl – doesn’t trust her enough to tell her the truth.

And that – that simply will not do. Not when they play like this. Not when someone could get seriously hurt if they aren’t completely honest with each other.

The realization is hollow in Lena’s ears. She cannot pretend anymore. Not for Kara. Not for the game and what they do and how they’re basically dating but won’t admit it.

Kara laughs. “I think … Well… that was a lot.”

“I think you liked it,” Lena’s smugness is palpable in her tone, even if worry rages within her. “Now get up here.”

“Sit on your face? I’m gonna look like a sex kitten by the end of this weekend, Lena.” Kara says, “Alex is going to take one look at me when I get back and demand to know why I took a – a _sex vacation_ from well – my _job_.” She’s grousing, but she’s up on her knees and moving over Lena. The firelight dances across her skin – making her glow golden.

“You’re beautiful.” Lena says, her hand splayed open across Kara’s stomach. “In this red light. A girl caught in the light of a dying star.”

It is, in retrospect, overplaying her hand. She has Kara right where she wants her, but still, Lena wants more. For the first time since they started this Lena wants the admission from Kara.

Kara looks down at her, hair falling in a curtain around her face. Lena wants to lean up and kiss her, but her spine doesn’t move that way. She turns her head, kisses Kara’s thigh. Kara’s eyes are wide as she stares down at Lena. “You—You,” she stumbles over the words. Lena kisses her thigh again. Bites a little. Wishes she could leave a mark. Kara reaches down and touches Lena’s cheek. “We never talk about it. You don’t ask. I don’t … tell. Though I suppose that is telling, isn’t it?”

“For this to work, Kara, there must be trust. I don’t talk about it because it doesn’t _matter_ , but … this trust, it’s vitally important to the game.” Lena takes her hands away from Kara’s hips, reaches for Kara’s hands, holds them tight. “We cannot play the game if we don’t trust each other completely.”

Kara looks down at her, chewing at her lip. “I didn’t expect you to bring this up while I was sitting on your face.”

“Sometimes the moment is just right,” Lena answers. She pulls one of Kara’s hands to her mouth and kisses her palm. Her expression is carefully neutral – away from the baggage of the Luthor name, away from everything other than this moment, from what they shared. It is not among the first times Lena has dared hope they could one day have more than what they had now. “I’m sorry I never asked. I assumed you didn’t want me to say anything. I’ve known for a while – there were… hints.”

Her face is flushed bright red in the firelight but she’s scooting back and bending down to kiss Lena. Her hand never leaves Lena’s, and her lips are full and warm. “I am,” she whispers. “I am and I don’t care if you know.”

 “Well,” Lena answers. “That settles that.” She brings her hands back to Kara’s hips and tugs them toward her once more. “Now scoot up, I want to eat you out.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I started this forever for a tumblr prompt and somehow, in cleaning up my inbox found the original ask - and then the original fanfic. I finished it up today because Why The Fuck Didn't I Do This Sooner. I feel bad for denying the people their sin.
> 
> The answer to that question (if y'all care) is I wrote a master's degree (with distinction) in the middle. So let's clean out these WIPs now that _that_ is done and I have some time before the PhD starts.
> 
> Everything about this fic is ridiculous.


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